How is consensual non-monogamy approached in therapy? A qualitative study of Polish sex therapists

Abstract
Presented results are the part of a broader study on the mainstream and marginalized approaches in Polish sexology. 48 in-depth interviews with sex therapists representing various therapeutic approaches were carried out to elucidate the diverse concepts of healthy sexuality and their impact on treatment goals in sex therapy. One important dimension that differentiated the therapists was the acceptability of consensually non-monogamous relationships as a healthy part of human sexuality. A significant number of the therapists had experience working with individuals representing different styles of CNM. Some professionals saw CNM as a means of relational fulfillment or an opportunity to resolve relational tensions, primarily in the context of desire discrepancies. An open relationship was also seen as a more honest option than secret infidelity. Among these therapists, CNM was treated on par with exclusivity or even affirmed as shattering unrealistic and harmful (according to the respondents) assumptions about the "two halves of the apple." However, most therapists approached CNM with caution, assuming that the choice of sexual non-exclusivity was a smokescreen for problems related to power dynamics in the relationship, emotional withdrawal, or a cover for compulsive sexual behavior. Negative attitudes stemmed from assumptions about the inseparability of jealousy and possessiveness from true love (which would preclude the willingness to share a partner), or from psychoanalytic tenets of a deep and exclusive bond between child and caregiver reflected in the adult relationship. Accepting and critical attitudes were related to the therapeutic approach, the type of sexological training, and the therapist's own relational needs and values – often openly expressed, but were not related to the age nor gender of the therapist. Analysis of the contexts in which patients' CNM relationships were invoked and evaluated allows several consistent ideologies regarding the relationship between sexuality and love to emerge. Types of professional approaches to CNMs are also identified.
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Citation
Grunt-Mejer, K. (2021). "How is consensual non-monogamy approached in therapy? A qualitative study of Polish sex therapists" 32nd International Congress of Psychology, Prague, Czech Republic, 17-23.07. 2021